Gay or Straight?

So friday night after getting in some quality family time for my brother's birthday, I came back to the apartment. When my roommate got home, we decided that we needed to get a drink (after all, its friday, what else would we do?). So we ventured out to a new bar called Flannery's to meet a few friends.

We got there, and when we walked in, we were given the illusion that there were many cute boys there, which we enjoyed. Unfortunately, after taking a closer look, we noticed that they were not actually cute. It was like the twilight zone... they look normal, until you get closer and realize they are all mutants =P. So anyways, the only guy we find to be somewhat attractive is the bartender. So, we belly-up to the bar and order some drinks to scope him out. After watching him for about a half hour, we begin to wonder.... is this guy straight? So... the ball bounced back and forth over the net for a while... his frat-boy type friends came in and they were all yelling profanities, which led us toward the hetero, but then that was immediately negated when my juke box selection, "its raining men" came on, and he began to dance. Quite the quandry. On top of this dilemma was the question of his age. He looked about 19, but acted older. Anyways, at the end of the night I chatted with him for about ten minutes. Not only was he straight, but he was 32! Oy, were my senses ever off! So, if you see me in a bar hitting on an 80 year old woman, politely pull me aside and say "Becky, it really isnt a 25 year old man in an old lady suit!"